What passes for humor around here - Quotes Thread!

[Daeliria]

Mniaron: Can I swim to Shouthshore from Menethil?
Daeliria: Probably, but when you near there'll be 30s-ish naga and murlocs.
M: Aw.
Ruzhia: It's doable. ^_^
D: Can you kittystealth in water?
R: Yep!
R: I'm pretty sure that's how I got Seldom to Hillsbrad, in fact.
M: Well, I'll try kittyswimming then. ^_^
M: I loves swimming adventure!
D: Kitty-: prefix meaning to perform an action in a cute, convenient, or generally superior fashion.
M: Yesh!!
M: This is curious.
R: ::kitty-stirfry::
M: ...Hey hey.
D: Kittymuffin!
M: When I run in kitty form through water, I sink. When I'm prowling, I swim fine.
R: Kitty superclavicular node!
M: <nuzzles>

~

R: Vrrm, vrrm! Ruzhiatank is prepped and ready for combat!
M: How cute! A Rufightbot.
R: Ruzhiatank is fight! Ruzhiatank is win!
M: I want my very own pet Ruzhia.
R: ...beep.
M: Bad Ruzhia!
R: *ponder* *ponder* ... *ponder* ...beep?
M: <gently pats>
D: No perturbing the Ruzhiabot! Bad kitty!
M: <mew> :<
R: Beep! [+,+];
M: ...you're miiiiiiiine.

~

M: Should I aim for the river mouth?
R: Should be a falls, not an entrance.
M: Eh, okay...
R: Unless you're a kittysalmon, I don't think it'll work.
R: ...And if you are, Daeli might angle you.

[Mniaron]

Mniaron: <gives gnomeling a toothy grin>
Cognite: *Frowns deeply* Keep your distance cat...
M: <follows gnomeling around>
C: *Hastily draws a potion from her pack, uncorking it and applying its contents to her face and hands*
M: <wrinkles nose>
C: *Grins evily*
M: <eyes gnomeling and backs away...>
M: <kittysneezes>
M: *poof* Schmelly.... nnnngg.
C: Ah! Gods! Have you any IDEA how disgusting that is!
M: That's your own fault! I was being all nice and not sniffing muchly, and then you had to go put that...
M: ...<CHOO!>
M: And I covered it this time, see?
C: *Drops to the floor*
M: <giggles>
C: *Scowls*
M: <loves Cognite>
C: It's your own fault for developing a taste for Gnomes, you barbaric elf.
M: Hmm, I don't think that's anyone's fault.... <ponder>
C: It's -yours-!
M: Well, even if that was true.....
C: Even if, then what?
M: Not changing!
M: <smushes gnomeling in a bear hug>
C: Oh I will break you cat, I -will- *UGF*
M: <3 <3
M: <releases gnomeling and hops away> Hee!
C: You!
M: Me!
C: *Casts a minor immolation spell on the fuzzy animal's fur*
M: Fine fine, I'll leave you to whatever you're doing.... ;D
M: <hops in water>
C: Fine! Stay down there!
M: <comes out of water and barrels at gnomeling in glee>
M: WET CAT! COMING!
C: NNOOOO!!!!
M: <chases>
C: *runs as fast as her short legs can carry her*
M: <keeps short distance behind just to see the cute running>
C: *Takes a spare shoe from her pack and throws it at the cat's head*
M: <squeaks>

[Alt-Girl]

I (sadly) cannot take credit for this. It's not even from TB, but it's freaking hilarious and so I thought to share it with you guys.

premium1.uploadit.org/MeisterSar//Rajicute.jpg

It cracked me up and I probably failed an exam today, that's how funny it is.

[Daeliria]

Is the humor in the utter idiocy of the other person, or in the fact you start off thinking Rajari is a troll?

[Alt-Girl]

Actually, due to my uber trollage of the CC forums (I made a funny), I knew who Rajari was beforehand, so definitely not the latter. And I don't think the other person was an idiot. I refuse to believe that Azerothians have not stumbled across the knock knock joke! *shrug* I just thought Rajari's reaction itself was hilarious while taking something not terribly RP and converting it into pure awesome. ;D

[Mniaron]

<Cognite gets her new felhound pet>
C: *Grins evily and sicks Zhaatom after Mni*
M: <plays tag with it>
C: *Zhaatom barks eagerly and scampers off*
M: Cute! <runs in circles around it>
C: *Zhaatom barks, trying to keep up*
C: *Cognite stomps the ground in frustration* Run faster you mutt!
M: Awwwwww <pets and pets demonling while running around> So cute, just like its master!
M: Be nice! It's your minion, you know.
C: *Frowns* I know what I'm doing! And demons aren't -cute- damn you!
M: Yes it is! It has these little things that stick up.... What are they? Hmm. <tweaks>
C: Stop touching those!
M: That's up to the demonling, isn't it? <bounces around>
C: It can't talk!
M: It can notify me in other ways. <purr>
C: So stop trying to rationalize things!
M: Good demonling! Niiiice demonling...
C: *Felhound pants and slurps the kitty*
C: Damnit! Have some -sense-!
M: <whispers to demonling> We can.... your master....have fun...
C: Oh! What's this? *Shakes her [Box of Souls]*
M: Look, I have two stacks of mutton for ya! <kittylicks demonling> Hee!
C: Don't be stupid, demons don't like.... *Watches Zhaatom begin to consume the mutton* .....I hate you.
M: I made a new friend! And one related to my favorite gnomeling, even. It's been a good morning. ^_^

[Daeliria]

Elindrae: Such a small place!
Mniaron: Yes, and a locked door!
M: What does it mean?
M: What is this dock for?
M: Where does it go?
M: And is Whiskers hungry?
E: Whiskers is always hungry.
E: That why Whiskers look like pear.

[Daeliria]

Mniaron: <is generally confused> I'm getting hot cocoa!
Cognite: Me too! Me too!
Icelus: brb cocoa
Daeliria: Hot cocoa... *glances at waterbottle* *closes her eyes and concentrates* *looks at waterbottle again*
D: Ruzhia?
C: *Grows trees with umbrella*
Ruzhia: No, I'm still here, not in your bottle.
M: <snorts milk out nose>
D: Are you sure?
M: <koff hack koff>
D: *prods bottle*
C: *Drinks Bottle*
C: *Looks illl*
D: ...hey! That's my bottle!
R: You can bottle drinks, but you can't drink bottles.
C: On the contrary... the Japanese are doing amazing things with bottles...
R: Amazing and perturbing things.
D: Well this is a thoroughly American bottle.
D: So, there's only one thing to be done.
R: DANCE PARTY!
R: ...is it a dance party?
M: Mnia does not dance.
C: "Thoroughly American"? What, ignorant and stuck up? Wearing a flag? What?
D: *pauses, one fist in the air* ...not quite.
D: It's plastic. See, American.
C: So... anything plastic is American?
M: Actually, everything is made in China.
D: I'd say it's more like... more Americans are plastic.
M: America is plastic. !!
C: Plastic? As in, flexible and adjustable to various concepts and ideas?
D: Anyway. *clears throat* As I was saying, only one thingto be done.
M: <duly ignores Dae while she does some Important Things for a moment>
D: *peers around her*
R: ...poor Dae. Okay... *koff* ...What's to be done, Fearless Leader?
D: RUZHIA! FETCH ME SOME COCOA!
R: YES, MY MISTRESS!
R: <locates nearest "Cocoa", a Pekingese across the street>
C: Dogs make horrible drinks.

~

Cognite: Haha, pure Cognite moment. On the train: Person 1: "Train."; Person 2: "Tram."; Cognite: "Idiots".

~

[Icelus] has come online.
Mniaron: Greetings.
Daeliria: Greetings.
Icelus: Greetings.
Cognite: ...
C: Damn sheep.
D: Baa.
I: I'll show you a sheep, gnome. <hands glow with blue light>
C: *Folds her arms, unimpressed. Then, sics her Felhunter after Icelus*
I: *is on a gryphon*
D: Mnia, look! It's your friend Zhaatom!
M: Yay!

[Daeliria]

Parhelion: I love your subjects, Mnia.
Cognite: ER?
Mniaron: ?
M: I have subjects?
M: I'm a QUEEN?
P: "bubbly" "tastes like cherry" "more cherry" "lose weight"
M: Ah. XD
P: You're a queen but the populace loves ME! Bwahaha!
M:
C: ...can I persecute the serfs?
P: No, don't persecute the serfs. 'Til after the harvest, anyway.
M: Yes. You can start a special inquisition.
P: NO ONE EXPECTS THE COGNITE INQUISITION!
C: *Sends "Free Pet Sheep" off to the masses!*
M: Smiting idiots!
P: ...and then I'm totally going to usurp the throne. Hee!
M: Thanks for the warning!

[Mniaron]

((This is a direct log of OOC officer chat, slightly cleaned up.))

[18:03:03] [Parhelion]: Oh, Tay, would Friday evenings be okay for you, for RP events?
[18:03:12] [Mniaron]: And Aimbora too?
[18:03:15] [Mniaron]: <poke poke>
[18:03:23] [Aimbora]: what? What what? What what what?
[18:03:28] [Mniaron]: RP event.
[18:03:37] [Mniaron]: <--NEWBIE AT RP, PLEASE BE NICE.
[18:03:37] [Aimbora]: when?
[18:03:42] [Mniaron]: We're trying to decide....
[18:03:45] [Parhelion]: Friday evenings?
[18:03:56] [Mniaron]: Either that or weekend. I'm busy 13th.
[18:03:57] [Aimbora]: right now!
[18:04:16] [Mniaron]: Ummm, I'mmmm..... making..... crafty...
[18:04:47] [Parhelion]: Specifically the 19th. Yes. Friday evening. Is this an issue for either of you?
[18:04:58] [Mniaron]: <pokes Aimbora and Tayuril>
[18:05:40] [Tayuril]: Whaaa? I bruise like a grape.
[18:05:51] [Mniaron]: Grapes don't bruise.... Bananas do.
[18:05:52] [Parhelion]: *flails helplessly*
[18:06:06] [Mniaron]: Awwww! CUTE flaily paladin!
[18:06:07] [Aimbora]: haha
[18:06:11] [Tayuril]: Bananas pickle.
[18:06:27] [Mniaron]: That's.... <makes Mr. Yuk face>
[18:06:34] [Parhelion]: RP! Campfire! Nineteenth! Evening! Yesno! No bananas!
[18:06:36] [Tayuril]: Mr. Yuk!
[18:06:45] [Mniaron]: YES! 19th! WHEN? WHERE?
[18:06:56] [Tayuril]: Nineteenth, eh? I think I'm scheduled to wash my hair.
[18:07:01] [Parhelion]: ..
[18:07:02] [Mniaron]: .....
[18:07:11] [Mniaron]: Well good.
[18:07:14] [Parhelion]: Excuse me while I go hyperventilate and then die of laughter.
[18:07:21] [Mniaron]: Let's make the meeting AFTER she does that.
[18:07:33] [Mniaron]: Aimbora agrees with me. <nods solemnly>
[18:08:08] [Aimbora]: Ive got a big bag of crabs here! YAY!
[18:08:33] [Tayuril]: ...
[18:08:56] [Mniaron]: ...
[18:09:05] [Parhelion]: ...are they fresh?
[18:09:43] [Mniaron]: Can I cook them?
[Aimbora logs off]
[18:10:22] [Mniaron]: Noooooo
[18:10:25] [Parhelion]: ...they killed him.
[18:10:35] [Mniaron]: <sobs over Aimbora's demise>

[Doskious Steele]

Daeliria: We need a good blacksmith. That probably means I need to play my paladin more.
Celuici: Or I could... or you could bully Colossus into becoming a very good blacksmith. ;P
Daeliria: "Colossus! Make me a Truesilver Rod!" "But I'm level - " "NOW!"
Doskious: ROFL
Celuici: ^^ ditto
Doskious: <waves hand, transforms Daeliria into a Truesilver Bar> ... Oops, I'm not Colossus...
Celuici: *snerk*
Daeliria: ...oh well, at least Elindrae will have some use for me.
Daeliria: *sits and... truseilvers...*
Doskious: ^_^
Doskious: <realizes his mistake>
Doskious: <waves hand again>
Celuici: *assumes leadership of the guild*
Daeliria: Am I a rod-shape, now?
Celuici: *rules with an iron fist*
Doskious: <Daeliria transforms into a Truesilver ROD, correctly this time>
Daeliria: Hey. Who said that I'd be abdicating, just because I've been transfigured?
Celuici: Try to stop me, Truesilver Rod.
Daeliria: *rules with a Truesilver Fist-like Protrusion*
Doskious: ROFL
Celuici: *iron fist breaks* Damnit! Dosk! I need a new one!
Doskious: <Crafts Thorium Fist>
Doskious: <ponders>
Doskious: <Assumes leadership of Guild>
Celuici: Traitor!
Doskious: <Rules with a Thorium Fist>
Celuici: Et tu, Brute!
Doskious: <Promotes Cel>
Celuici: *pickpockets the fist*
Celuici: *rules with it*
Doskious: <Fist self destructs, having been removed from it's wielder>
Daeliria: *sits in a corner and gleams forlornly*
Celuici: Noo!
Doskious: <Demotes Cel for theiving>
Doskious: <Displays another Thorium Fist with which to rule>
Celuici: *leads a revolution, wielding Daeliria*
Daeliria: *weeps futile truesilver tears, probably funding Cel's revolution*
Doskious: <waves hand, subjercts Revolution to Ego check for wielding an intelligent item>
Doskious: <Crushes divided Revolution during resulting turmoil>
Celuici: Revolution rolls 5 (1-20)
Daeliria: Psst. Cel. This is the point at which you say, "If she was so intelligent why would she have been turned into a truesilver rod to begin with?"
Celuici: Damn.
Doskious: hey, I never said you had a High ego score, just that you had one
Daeliria: >.>
Doskious: <Uses Thorium Fist to seize Dae as a Trusilver Rod, creates Golden Crown. Enshrines as Guild Leader Regalia, to be obeyed in the absence of a wielder as guild Leader>
Celuici: *implodes*
Daeliria: ...
Daeliria: *...summons Ruzhia*
Doskious: <Last act as Chairman Pro Tempore, promotes self, leaves over Guild Leadership to the Enshrined Regalia>
Celuici: *comes back as an uber Forsaken rogue* *kills Dosk for his verbosity which led to roguish implosion*
Doskious: you can cast summonses without hands?
Daeliria: ...yes.
Celuici: What's taters, precious?
Daeliria: I don't need my hands to summon her. Only my heart.
Daeliria: ...and a cell phone.
Doskious: <Triggers Soulstone, pwns Cel for her audacity, camps corpse>
Celuici: *rezzes, vanishes from the plane, rekills Dosk*
Daeliria: *plants herself and Regalia Et Al. in Ruzhia's hands, and sends her off to take a shower*
Doskious: <Remains as ghost the better to watch>

::-----------------------------------------------------------------------::

Daeliria: Please tell me someone's logging this.
Doskious: I autolog
Daeliria: Good. Put it on the forums. :p

[Doskious Steele]

[18:28:27] [Doskious]: and I have to say that the chat channels in this game really aren't the most secure <_< but as you say, ppl know it's me so no harm done ^_^
[18:28:35] [Doskious]: just be careful, yah?
[18:28:56] [Konradexius]: kk
[18:29:00] [Doskious]: ty =D
[18:29:00] [Daeliria]: Oh, didn't you know? We have a spy tap wire from the guild channels to CGF headquarters.
[18:29:09] [Doskious]: I *did* know
[18:29:11] [Doskious]: in fact
[18:29:19] [Daeliria]: Yes, I know -you- would.
[18:30:31] [Doskious]: I was alluding to that among other things, when I mentiuoned teh insecurity of the chat, but respecting the operating rights of the good ole' folks at CGF HQ, I elected vagueness to avoid breaching your security ^_^
[18:30:45] [Daeliria]: They've probably already contacted you about a deal for better wording on their contracts, in fact.
[18:31:28] [Doskious]: I have declined several bids for employ from them in fact, on the basis that I wasn't being offered sufficient compensation...
[18:31:57] [Daeliria]: Oh, they -never- pay well.
[18:32:43] [Daeliria]: I took it up part-time in the middle of first semester, but decided I could do better even just working in the dorm cafeteria.
[18:33:08] [Doskious]: not surprising
[18:35:00] [Konradexius]: Ok, I haven't been able to figure out what CGF is -.-;
[18:35:09] [Doskious]: Chinese Gold Farmer?
[18:35:15] [Daeliria]: ...
[18:35:35] [Konradexius]: Oh.
[18:35:41] [Doskious]: >_>
[18:35:44] [Daeliria]: ...Computer Graphics Fixer.
[18:36:14] [Konradexius]: Never assume I know when you're kidding
[18:36:26] [Konradexius]: =P
[18:36:38] [Doskious]: Corrupt Geopolitical Fascist?
[18:36:46] [Konradexius]: That works too
[18:36:48] [Daeliria]: Cylindrical Grammar Fountain!
[18:37:26] [Doskious]: Clinical Geodescic Fibre
[18:38:02] [Daeliria]: Cargo Gate-Fastener.
[18:38:10] [Doskious]: Cyborg Greeting Functionary
[18:38:16] [Daeliria]: You win.
[18:38:26] [Doskious]: (robot secretary ftfw!)
[18:38:39] [Daeliria]: Also, forums.
[18:40:15] [Doskious]: sure, ok
[18:41:04] [Daeliria]: Confused Guild Factions.

[Daeliria]

Azani: I'm so close to [Helm of Fire], I can -taste- it.
Daeliria: Does it taste like leather?
A: More like chicken actually.
D: o.o
A: Or maybe that was the sammich I had for lunch. It's all a blur really.

[Ruzhia Valos]

Mniaron: <trying to visualize whirled peas>
Ruzhia: 1) fill bowl with peas 2) hand peas to a kitty-druid 3) tell
druid there's chocklit on her tail 4) Whirled peas!
Deomozen: *snerk*
Mesaana: rofl
R: Now if you want -ballistic- peas, that would involve a robot and a bear...
Mn: XD
D: o.o
Me: lol
Mn: <volunteers to be the bear>
R: I wouldn't, unless you want pea in your face.
R: PEAS! -PEAS- IN YOUR FACE!
Mn: <licks up peas>
D: World peas?
Mn: <bearsits on Ruzhia>
D: *innocent*
R: Peas in our lifetime.
Me: >_>
D: Have we secured peas in our time?
R: The only way we'll attain peas is through war.
Me: unless you want more cold porridge, PEAS hush.
D: *headwall*
Mn: LOL

[Daeliria]

Left is Rue, right is Dae, middle is Wooden Duckie. (Yes, it's a bad sketch and a bad scan.)